Today work

hi today morning i have decided that i will first solve all my loans problems and i will earn and i will show whom i am to this society and i will make them everyone come towards me.
yesterday full i was not ok and i thought of my life is finished but today i dont know what is happening to me or my inner mind it is totally reversed and it is thinking in you can do that. i hope GuruDHeva has done something in my mind. i think he decided to show whom i am to these people and then i have end this life.
my thinking is that i should earn 20 crore rupees in year and then i should show whom i am,. i am going to prepare myself full in market and i am going to make money i am going to do research fully on that with GURUDHEVA help and i will win in this market with correct and perfect value. my inner mind says and he GuruDHeva also telling me not to teach technique to any one and survive yourself dont tell anyone to what you are earning also.
what ever problem comes for me i will face and i will win.