last

i could not understand what is happening or what is going to happen. i should ask my father to give money to settle soem money to my friends. even i dont know what i am going to write or the things i have to do. i am in really a frustrated mood and i dont know what the things going to be done or so. i am feeling fully tried in my mind and body. today my left ear went down and i could not hear any thing due to cold. i am feeling too sleeply in the morning in office. i am praying to GuruDheva that my friends should accept the request from madan and from my father to return the money to them. Today i am going to prepare all the documents and the things about me and i am going to keep it in a separate things. If i was not there tomorrow some one should use that one. I dont know how much i am going to gain the pressure or i am going to with stand the pressure. Since i am very soft in nature and i am coward only everyone wants me to put legs on my head and they want to play one. first thing is that i should gain a good respect from others. I am feeling too bad and worst about me i dont know whether i should live in this world or not. That much things are happening around me. Let us see what is happening.