Monday, April 21, 2008

yesterday

yesterday night, really i felt bad and my father,mother and cousin asked me the question so much about the money.
i know that my father and mother and no even any one in this world is trusting me.
every one left my trust on me. i am going on my path with truth in my mind and i never want to fool anyone or betray anyone. but i dont know why they are all targeting me and to finish me. yesterday night they enquired me so much and they given me more clues about the doubt with sir and anu. he asked me that and told me that i am hiding some more with them about me and them also. he asked me that if you say the sir is good person then why he did not scold anu more and why he scolded u much more than her?. after thinking long time i find that everyone (sir,anu and her mother ) made me very big fool and they want to separate me fully from my father and mother. But i find yesterday only and i really felt bad in my life. Yesterday while my father told me that i have done lot expenses in my life. then only i really cried in my heart that i never had a good opionion from them from college life. They thought that i will survive them from my first job. but i did not. I came to know that till now since i am his son only they want to safe gaurd me nothing more. they are not having any trust on me till now and i dont know how i am going to make them to belive me in futher. but yesterday i thought that i will earn money more and i will first clear the loan.
these are things i am going to do
1. i will get them a own house on their name
2. i will give them a car to roam with driver
3. i will keep a doctor and nurse for them to take care their health.
4. I will put money 1 crorer each and they will get the intrest to spend from that one.
5. i will buy a home and present to vanitha.
6. i will live in separate room in my home if i have in separate or in a flat with them
the one more thing here is i really felt ashamed that the reason which i hated my father and mother today i am really feeling the pain and punishement that i should not do this. and no one should . For every action about good and bad everyone comments on us. no one is respecting me in this world. but one day the day will come that everyone will appriciate me including my father and mother. but as early decided by me. i will be in a place on mind with a smile i will be in a long distance in my life to anyone. i am learning a lot by this. the onething what i am going to do is from now is i will not bite the nails. i will not smoke. i will be more truth in this world. i will speack less. i will concentrate more money only not more than that. Money is the only thing now to conquire.
i will make everyone will come to me.
and in my mind i have decided that i want to leave anu full and i want to live peacefully without pain. I got mail from padu that anu and her mother is telling most lies on me and they are establishing her most. so i replyed back padu about what happened and why i was like that.
my father told me that he want go to mysore on 26th to solve the matter and madan asked me about the finacial. i told him that i will solve myself full. i replyed him that i will not ask or in future also about the money. my target is within one year i have to clear the loan. i will do this by blessing of GuruDheva. Now my only intention is to clear the loan to get separated from anu. But i am praying to GuruDheva is i have to tear them in pieces of words for Anu,her mother and all who appose me in mysore and i want to get soluble suitavation. i am asking him give me the strengh and i should not fear for anyone and anything. i am sure that i will not fear for anyone and i will not fear for anything.

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