to do

i dont know why i am giving this much intrest in reading java language.i am planning learn more in java from basic. i am thinking that i should do certification in that.i am now a days fond of programming upon from testing so i starting thinking to do perl language as well as java.why i dont know but i am feeling lot that i should learn more to come up. i thinking to read more and more and to make to set right all.i have done lot of mistakes in life i never been a trust worthy to anyone in this world. I dont know even my GuruDheva belives me or not. but i am thinking him daily.yesterday my father told me and pointed out me that you got a bad name from all of your relation since you will get help from them but once you are out from the place your are not talking to any one. i relaised the mistake what i have done most in my life. last week i went to meet my grandfather in my aunty home. every time she will invite me to her home. but this time she even asked me how you are. my father told me that since for past three years i did not contacted my father most of them told me that just throw me out of the home let he suffers.after this only i reliase that i have done a very great mistake in my life. The thing that i should not only be good but i should know how to tackle all people around me and to gain the trust from them. If the Time for the person is not good then all the mistakes and sins comes at a time and suffers him.everyday and every second i am relaising the truth what it is in real life how to go with it. The thing what i have done is making others in trouble. i became a news for everyone and everywhere. Most of the people will feel really happy that if i go down since the people will not love a person very Good one and truth in nature. Everyone tells me that i am lier i dont know why it may be that the way i speak may seem to be lie.so i should change my talking style and i should speak little only. Now the thing is i dont know whom i have to talk and whom i should not. Even madan after coming to mysore while leaving to chennai he told to vijay that i should suffer for all. my mother cried on vanitha home and she cursed me lot. i felt on the spot that i should have died. Today morning anu given torture to vijay saying some thing. i dont know where my path is going and how i am going to lead a life.i dont know how to repay theloan and things how to get corrected.everything seems to be bad for me but only thing that i never left my confidence and pray on GuruDheva that one day i will come up in life beating all and i will put black on all the faces whom they told me.i am thinking that i have to change lot in these things. i should earn lot of money and to become a reliasits that that one best thing he can give me in my life.if i became saint i can see all things equal sorrow and happy. i am planning to save lot of money and to pay all my credits. i am going to sit in home and i will do all planning and things to be done.if i plan and if i do proper then all will go on correct direction and i will be rich within 3-6 months by paying all credits.thats the thing i am going to do to come up in life.