Monday, May 19, 2008
hi on Friday i went to home town at night. it was really horrible when i was there in chennai bus stand. too hot. i dont how the old age people will survice here in hot. next day morning i reached denkanikotta. In hosur before i was waiting for the next bus to home town. it was very cold there. it was just like AC. i went to home at 5.30 in the morning and i tool a nap for about 2 hours. i woke up at 8 in the morning. my father told me to go to bank and go get the clear of the jewels. so i went to bank and i paid 37490 rs to the gold and i took back to home and i gave it to my mother. this was the only thing which i had in my life. my mother told me that anu is vacated all the home and they are planning to take all things to melcote. i told them i will take all the things and i will get back that one to denkanikota. my father told me that bring back the fridge we will keep that one since it is bigger one. they refused me to sell that fridge. yesterday again me and my mother got fight about the same old matter. i got really frustrated why she again taking the old matter and fighting with me.i came to know that she is taking in pain and feelings. but i dont have any words to say. she told me that see all the persons how they are living why you have done bad to your life. dont you have brain in your life. i could not reply anything to them. i was asking to GuruDheva that whether i am a cursed guy where i did not get any chance of getting going to abroad and so like that. most of the guys and girls are going to abroad and they are roaming like that. But i was feeling the pain that why it was happened to me like that. why i am like this and why i got this much loan why i have done this much bad in my life . i could not get any single answer in my life. But i Prayed to GuruDheva that why this was happened to me and i asked him to give a solution for all. i could not think beyond some thing.since i am feeling pain i dont know how i am going to solve the problem money one with karthik and srini. i know that karthik is always a doubtable person he is the key and seeni is playing on that. my father told me that now your thinking should only be on how to clear all the loan by getting salary and to solve all the credit cards only. so i decided that i will clear all the loans and i will make them happy in my home. yesterday my father told me that if i wait that you will get a good life my time will be over. so i am going on my way so you also follow the same rule so you can survice in this world. so i accepted him and i tool oath in my mind that i will clear all the loans with a year and i will make him proud. i prayed To GuruDheva that the problem with the sir and anu should be clear and i should live peacefully. i have given full responcibility to GuruDHeva that he should take care vanitha there in mysore and she should not get any problem from there family. i really felt pain while i was thinking on them on yesterday they all are cunning and they want people to live on there legs. they dont want any one to come up in life. thats why there are like that in there life. the main thing is anu's mother she is playing all bad things in there family saying that she is doing good for all. i never told to any one that she was the main that i left anu. On the next sitting with the family i am going to blast with GuruDheva help that i am going to screw them all. i am praying to GuruDheva that sir should be screwed by cousin and he should leave his head down. the mistake which he has done to me, he always supports anu and he always scolds me. this the thing i am getting doubt about him that whether he did the same thing for Gayathri whom he always told me the story. becuase i am getting this much doubt. i am feeling that whether everyone done a plan against me and they trapped in there circle. but i am expecting that they may tell that june month is coming and i hope that using the kid school i hope they are trying to block all the things. yesterday in mind i thought i should take revenge on all in there family members. becuase i was truly with them with 100 % but they fooled me while i was thinking the matters. but i know that GuruDheva will pay them and they will reap what the bad things that they have done.
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